Monday, April 30, 2012

To help me find my place in this world...

For the first time in the history of New Mom on the Blog, I'm writing this post with absolutely no subject in mind.  Not exactly stream of consciousness.  (You better believe I'm using the delete button if anything sounds stupid.)

But, I've been away from the blog for far too long, and I miss it so much.  I write this blog from the perspective of a new mother and therefore try to keep the subject matter related to the many triumphs (and failures) of parenting.  So, usually my ideas just come from what is going on in my life as a mom.

At the moment, so much is going on in my life.  But, none of it really has to do with The Incredible Hulk other than the fact that he's the bright, sunshiny moment of every day.  And honestly?
We could use a little bit of sunshine.

We sold our first home and moved out with no where to go.
I'm currently living in the house where I grew up.  This is supposed to be a temporary situation.
Except there is no end in sight.

I made it very far through the interview process (as in FOUR interviews) of a job I would have really liked to have.

And, in the end, I didn't get it.

I found an even more perfect job working in a hospital part of the time on the psych floor and part of the time in the NICU (!!!!)

Only to find out the funding for the position has been suspended.  Indefinitely.

Listen, I know we're living in the most craptastic of economic times.
I know that they say you should expect 1 month of job searching for every 10K of salary you expect.

Well, if that's the case, I'm gonna be ROLLING IN IT when I finally find a job.

It has been really hard not to get down on myself right now.  We are just weeks away from closing on our dream home in Chicago and we won't even be able to live there until we can find a way to both collect a paycheck in the state where the dream home sits.

All the while, I'm also trying to make peace with the fact that I am preparing to say goodbye to the only place I've ever called home.

One day, I hope my husband and I can look back on this time in our life and tell TIH that we were as happy as we could possibly be.

That even though we were dirt poor, even though we had no idea what the hell we were doing, even though we wished away every bit of the time we were spending in this relocation limbo - that we were still happy.

Because we had each other
And so, we had everything we needed.


  1. Amanda, I know it is hard being in the unknown. Bryan and I went through this two years ago (almost!) when we first got married. I was living on unemployment, B lost his job THREE weeks after we got married, and we had no idea where God was planning on taking us. However, we prayed and hoped and thought as positive as possible. Somehow it all worked out. We both found jobs, we got to stay and live a life we never dreamed of living. I have faith you are going to find your dream job, it will work out with the house and b/c you have one another, you will be happier than you ever imagined. Keeping your family and you in my thoughts and prayers! xoxo

  2. Thanks so much! Your kind words and prayers mean so much to us. Your story has quite a happy and beautiful ending, so it gives me a lot of hope. Can't get enough of that :)

  3. What kind of jobs are you looking for? I live in Chicago and might be able to help out. Thinking good thoughts. :)

    1. I'm a board-certified music therapist. I am looking for related work in a hospital or school. I don't want to take just anything, but I am starting to get a little desperate...

  4. Oh, Amanda. This is so lovely. You are going to emerge from this, and you'll wonder how you ever lived without the strength you're building right now.


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