Thursday, August 9, 2012

Careful the things you say, children will listen...

Oh boy, do I owe all of you the mother of all updates.
And the mother of all apologies.

You all, this relocation thing is basically drawing the ever-loving life out of me and I can't even bare (bear? I can never remember this) to lift my hands to the keyboard after a solid day of typing my name, credentials, and references into yet another online application.  (In short, the employment search is not going well.)

If somewhere in here I mention I graduated cum laude and can type 75 WPM, just ignore me.  I'm on auto-apply again.

I'm back on the blog today because I have been really excited to give you an update on The Incredible Hulk's talking (or, as we last left of - the lack thereof.)

I am happy to report - the boy is TALKING.

Can I say he is the most eloquent human being to walk the planet at this moment?

In fact, most of our conversations consist of stuff about hot dogs and Donald Duck and Popsicles.  (Uh oh, I might have just given away in that short sentence what a failure of a parent I am.  Whoops.)

But, yes.  The boy is talking.

I would say at this point we are noticing 1-2 new words a week and starting just recently we see that he's making more of an effort for those words to sound like the actual words and not just toddler-like approximations.  (For instance, before we had "BAH" for "Bye" and now we've got more of a "Bah-ee" thing happening.  Which is ADORABLE. Obvi.)

At his two year check-up, our pediatrician said he wanted him to have at least 25 words (done and done), he should put two-word phrases together (as in, "Ma?  Pop?"  "Yes, buddy.  Mommy does want a Popsicle."), and that people who don't know him well should understand about 50% of what he's saying (getting easier by the minute.)

So, for all of you who comforted me during the multiple times I have used this blog to freak out about his speech - thank you.  At the time, I was really freaked out and having you all to throw my worries at made me feel so much better.

Fortunately, we're not quite at the "repeating" stage of talking yet.  Why "fortunately?"  Mostly because Mommy has...should we say...a colorful vocabulary?

I have a friend whose daughter is a few months younger than TIH and is a virtual parrot and repeats almost everything she hears.  And, I mean she does so in a way that my friend never has any doubt about what went on in school that day. (How awesome is THAT?)

TIH isn't there yet and I am glad for that.
I know I need to clean up my act.  I will want to crawl into a hole and die the first time his teacher tells me he used a curse word.  Because between my husband and me, I'm the curser.

I'm working on it.  I swear.

However, looking back over social media and the stuff that's been going on in the news, I have to say - TIH might repeat my beloved F-bombs one day, and I won't lie, that will suck.

But, if I can get serious for a moment and totally switch gears for a moment?  Something that he'll never repeat because he heard it in our house?

A hateful comment about someone because of the color of their skin
...or the way they dress
...or the fact that they have a disability
...or their sexual orientation
...or the religion they practice.

Those sort of things have no place in my life.  In my house.  In my child's mouth.
I have heard people who are too young to understand the gravity of what they say repeat comments that are nothing short of hateful, belligerent, racism and it's scary.  And where do you think they are getting that from?

So, yes.  One day, my son may embarrass me by dropping his toys and saying, "Shit!"  (Another one of mommy's favorites.)  However, you can be sure that he'll never embarrass me by saying any of the hateful things I hear on a daily basis. 

And I may be a new-ish mom, and I may curse like a common trucker - but I'm pretty sure I'm doing that part right.


  1. Yeah bear/bare...gets me every time :). Oh, and J dropped the f bomb at daycare once. Awesome. Luckily, he blamed daddy, when asked where he heard it. But, lesson learned on our part :). As for the other stuff, yep, you'll never hear that from our boys, love this post!!!

  2. Glad to hear you are still amongst the living. Every time TQC repeats a new "no-no" word or phrase she says, "OK, and we don't say damn it, or stupid, or..." OK, thanks for the list of all of the bad things we have taught you.

    1. Do you know that I caught up on your blog yesterday after signing into Blogger for the first time since...I don't know, and noticing that 95% of my traffic comes from my birth story guest post.

      I have not had a single moment to read a blog or write an email or anything, but I've been thinking about you and almost wet myself several times when reading through your blog last night. You are sincerely the funniest person EVER.

  3. Oh and the same rules go in our house. I would rather my kids say fuck, shit and ass than stupid, fat or ugly. Those words are more powerful and hurtful than curse words will ever be.

    1. I told my husband that the other day and he thought I was nuts.

      I would SO much rather be known the kind of person that uses the F word (which I do, frequently) than the kind of person who uses the N word (which I don't, EVER.)

    2. Also, thanks for mentioning the word "fat" as a word you don't want your kids to use. The way it is used these days (especially the word "fatty"...don't even get me STARTED) is so sad and terrible.


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