Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Everybody hurts sometimes...

It's quite amazing who the blogosphere can introduce you to.  I met a woman who happened to live in the same city, frequented the same restaurants, was a new mom herself, and who worked only miles from me.  We never actually met in person before I moved, but I stalk her read her blogs regularly.  She keeps parenting real and often says many of the things I'm thinking, but have never said out loud.  A healthy dose of that realness comes from the amazing love she has for both of her adorable kiddos.  I have never forgotten the first time I read her post about "Having a Sad Moment" and thinking, "This woman is a Guru."

I tried this method out with The Incredible Hulk only a few months ago while my husband was traveling.  I cooked dinner (and by cooked I mean, I actually turned on an oven instead of my usual microwaved chicken nuggets) and when I set it on the table, TIH had a meltdown of epic proportions.  He wanted to eat anything besides my carefully prepared dinner.  We were having breaded pork chops and he wanted a hot dog, pizza, cereal, chicken nuggets (aren't breaded pork chops just glorified chicken nuggets?)  At my wits end, I took him away from the table, set him on the couch with a small cup of milk and a pillow, and said "Do you need to have a sad moment?"  With tears rolling down his face, he sat on the couch, drank his milk, and stroked his hair (touching his own hair is his ultimate self-soother).  Within 5 minutes he was visibly calmer, he set down his milk, and I tentatively asked, "Do you want to eat some bites of your dinner?"  He nodded.  I gave him some ketchup (a compromise) to dip his pork chop in and he ate every. single. bite.  Sad moments?  ARE A DAMN MIRACLE.

Julie is allowing me to share this method on the blog today.  Make sure you add her blog to your list of daily reads.  You will come away laughing so hard you pee and also really appreciating the all of the little things that motherhood has to offer.


Whether you are in the trenches of the terrible twos or have a child who always runs with high emotions, you are probably looking for a way to both help them through the tantrums and keep from losing your ever-loving shit every time they have a meltdown. In our house, that way is the "Sad Moment".

The Sad Moment is a way to help your toddler deal with their emotions when there is nothing really "wrong". For example, when they want to play with a toy their friend is playing with and get hysterical when you tell them "no". Or when they ask for a cookie before dinner and you tell them they need to wait.

After I explain to The Quiet Contemplator the right thing to do in the situation or why she can't have what she wants, I ask her is she wants to have a Sad Moment. She almost always says yes. I then give her her turtle pillow pet (or any soft stuffed thing you want) and she buries her head in it and cries until she feels better. Usually this lasts less than a minute. 

A Sad Moment with Turtle is kind of just a place for her to put her emotions when she doesn't know what to do with them. It almost always makes her feel better. I am amazed every time she says "yes" when I ask her if she needs a Sad Moment. It is like she knows that she just needs a release. Afterward, she totally rebounds and it is like nothing happened.

I guess this is kind of like a time out, only it helps your kid get rid of all the pent-up emotion while also giving them time to think. I hope this helps some of you. I know it has helped the crap out of us.


  1. Haha... not seeing where I click from to get here, I started to think, "huh... this is like the Turtle Time idea I stole from that other mom blog.... oh". Haha... it totally works!


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